"This software was advertised as a 'fully functioning evaluation version', but nearly all of its features are disabled."
Complaints Game at MCiOS, from last year. I'd quite forgotten
"That's right, it's a fully functioning evaluation version of an extremely poor piece of software."
"This item rang up at double the sticker price!"
"It clearly says 'Everything Marked Down By 50%!' in the window, madam."
"The scroll lock button doesn't do anything."
"Only God can truly accomplish anything."