Spells that never were, but should have been
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[edit] Disco Inferno(fire, party tunes)
Evocation
Level:42
Range: 70's and 80's classics.
Duration:8 til late.
Area of effect:One party. Music can be heard several blocks way, irritating anyone trying to sleep.
Description:This spell fills a given area with rolling fire that incinerates everything it touches, inflicting 4d6 damage per round. At the same time a range of popular tunes from the disco era can be heard while the victims... er.. party goers... dance till they drop.
The spell caster can choice to act as the DJ, or the music can just play at random.
This spell was created on the elemental plane of fire, where it is considered a party trick rather than a weapon of war. When asked about its unfortunate side effects on less igneous creatures, he just shrugged his shoulders and said "Fairs, fair. You guys invented the wet t-shirt contest."
Researched and created by Andy 13:16, 30 May 2007 (BST)
[edit] Burning Hands(fire, self-immolation)
Evocation
Level:1
Range: Self
Duration:Until a suitable water source is found.
Area of effect:Caster's hands
Description:This spell creates two balls of fire, centred on the caster's hands. This fire will burn the caster for 1d3 damage, plus 2 damage per level of the caster, until he is able to find a large source of water in which to dunk the charred digits.
The spell caster can act normally every turn, but only if he passes a Concentration check (DC 10+damage that round).
This spell was the prototype for the later, and much more popular, Burning Hands spell as found in the Player's Handbook.
Researched and created by --Alex 19:40, 1 June 2007 (BST)
[edit] Protection from healing potions
Abjuration
level:3
Range:self
Duration:Permanent
Area of effect:One sap, er, caster.
Description:This spell will prevent any sort of healing potion from effecting the caster, who must be a normal living creature. Other people can still consume healing potions, perhaps with exagerated looks of pleasure on their faces. If the caster attempts to do so, they just end up with a bad taste in there mouth.
Rumour has it that this spell was created by the Guild of Doctors, Herbalists, and Healers to take out the competition. Copies can be found in several popular dungeons, on scroll entitled Protection from Evil.
Researched and created by Andy 12:14, 3 June 2007 (BST)
[edit] Annihilate Stupid Monster (stress relief)
Evocation, Defustration
level=0
Range=As far as is needed
Duration:Very, very permanent
Saving throw:None
Description: This spell instantly smites any stupid, irriatting creature it is cast against. The exact amount of damage depends on just how irritating they are.
Any creature that has a huge number of attacks just because it has a large number of limbs takes 1d6 damage per caster level. Also removes all excess limbs in a non-painless fashion.
Any monster that resembles a classic species, such as orc, kobolds, or whatever, but has different coloured skin and more hit dice takes 1d8 damage per caster level.
Any sort of slime, ooze, jelly or other rediculus blob monster is instantly destroyed without any saving throw. However before it dies it is briefly granted sentients, so that it can comprehend not only its own suffering, but also just how banal its very existence has been. Its soul is then sent to a very special region of the lower planes to suffer for all eternity. If it didn't have a soul, it gains one especially for this purpose.
Researched and created by Andy 16:08, 9 June 2007 (BST)
[edit] Summon Jacuzi (Showing off)
Conjuration, relaxation
level:4
Range:10 yrds
Duration:1 hour/level
Description: As the name sugests, this spell allow an accumplished wizard to unwind in style after a hard days adventuring. The jacuzi summoned is large enough to accomodate 1 medium sized creature per caster level, and has fully adjustable controls for temperature and 'bubblyness'. When this spell is used by a caster of 10th level or higher it also creates a minibar and hifi system, along with a box of fat cigars.
Researched and created by Andy 15:32, 15 June 2007 (BST)
[edit] Fall of the Mighty
Evocation, Humiliation
level:5
Duration:Most likely until reserected!
Area of effect: One unfortunate band of heros.
Description: Heros get used to winning fights, but every wise adventerer fears this spell. Crafted by an Evil Mage long ago, it twists the fate and brings doom upon anybody it is cast against. The unfortunate heros soon find themselves locked in a battle they cannot hope to win.
This terrible spell has been used by the forces of evil to destroy many a mighty paladin. Even dragons can fall before its incredible might.
The material component of this spell is 200 kobolds.
Researched and created by Andy 14:05, 1 July 2007 (BST)
[edit] Save Game/Load Game
Evocation, Computerisation
Level:9
Duration: Until the file becomes carruputed
Area of effect: The whole of reality
Description: This immensly powerful spell creates a fold in the fabric of space and time which acts very much like a book mark. The untility and power of this spell is immense, and those few mages who have mastered it are almost god-like in their power.
At any point in the future, the mage can choice to return to this fold, or save point, as it is often called. Doing so transports the wizard through both space and time, resetting everything to the way it was - including the wizard himself! This can poenentially leave the mage several level lower and and many years younger, but hey, you get to do it all again, and this time you already know whats going to happen!
The most remarkable thing about this spell is that it can be used even while dead. In fact, thats the best time to use it, really.
There is also an ancillary spell to this one, which allows the mage to skip through conversations they have already had.
The material component is a type writer and an ink ribbon
Researched and created by Andy 11:37, 21 July 2007 (BST)
